Witches In Britches

We’re proud to rattle our funereal chains in celebration of West Melbourne’s famed cabaret-theatre-cum-restaurant Witches In Britches, a unique combo of live musical comedy venue, multi-course fine dining establishment, and dungeon disco on the corner of King Street and Dudley Street. Witches In Britches’ fatally funny brew is an infectious affair. These masters of the magickal canon of merrymaking have undertaken to guide guests through the pleasures of burlesque (and all things braised, baked, boiled, butterscotched and cauldron-cooked) for over a quarter of a long century; with no signs of slowing to a zombie shuffle, Melbourne’s fanged fans regularly pack this castle to the rafters for Witches In Britches’ week-round roster of live shows, and for their birthdays, hens’ nights, corporate events and suitably profane Christmas parties. Bookings are essential.

Celebrate Valentine’s at Witches In Britches! Take a look here.

The main event at Melbourne’s Witches In Britches is always the live musical comedy act, performed throughout the week and over the weekends, at which point the festival-of-the-dead atmosphere inside the venue reaches pitch-black fever-pitch. The events schedule here is a tightly bound and reined-in entity, with acts and guest stars lured to this West Melbourne lair from the best burlesque and cabaret covens in Australia and around the world. However, though these shows are without a doubt the fatal attraction, Witches In Bitches offers a holistic (if not entirely holy) experience, with each show ticket granting guests a revivifying three-course banquet served on long, medievalist communal benches, elevating the twee parlour game of musical chairs to a very social game of thrones.

Guests to West Melbourne’s Witches In Britches, tickets gripped in deathly white hands, are ushered through the so-called Tunnel Of Terror once they reach the portal to the inner sanctum on the corner of Dudley Street and King Street. Once inside and seated, the banquet begins, with (just for example – the menu changes regularly) roasted pumpkin soup served steaming from the cauldron by surprisingly affable witches (in britches) and warlocks. Atypical mains include chicken breast with stuffed zucchini, eye fillet steak with a demi-glaze sauce, and the fish of the night with hand-cut chips (health and safety stringently upheld). Lapsed vampires on a vegetarian kick can indulge in baked stuffed capsicum with homemade tomato sauce (yes, it is tomato) on a bed of raisin and crushed nut couscous. During the intermission (‘the witches will have you in stitches’), you have your choice of indulgent desserts. Fancy a sticky date? The pudding with butterscotch is for you. If not, then go for death by chocolate mousse nut praline with sweet wafers. The real icing on top is the after-show and after-dinner death disco in the dungeon, where you can dance the apocalypse hop amidst the blood on the dancefloor and the detritus of dinner until the wee hours. Bookings, more than merely recommended, are mandatory at this mental Melbourne institution.